Hi guys! I am excited to tell you that I have a new page up. It contains two excerpts from the novel I am currently working away on. I'd love it if you checked it out and please, please, please comment, ;-) I love hearing from my peers/superiors!
p.s. the new page is called The Legend of Anirrin top right. Someone just inadvertently told me I should clear that up.
Hi Larissa,
ReplyDeleteI'm your latest follower ;)
I read your excerpt. I do have a question and a comment. What genre is this? Be careful choosing the names of your character. That's why I want to know what genre this novel will be. You have to pick names that'll impact the reader or names that have meaning in the plot or historical reference. The same goes for the title. I know it's early in the process but as an author and a reader, good titles appeal to me. My mentors always told me to choose wisely. A title can make or break a story. Keep on writing!
Cheers!
Claudia
http://www.claudiadelbalso.blogspot.com/
I really like how descriptive you are! You are really able to experience what Elomrin is feeling!
ReplyDeleteI noticed a few punctuation errors: "Stunned, he collapsed and in agony she’s really strong, he thought". After agony should be a comma or a period, depending on which you feel would be better. And then here, "Realizing what was happening; Elomirn blinked" A comma should be there instead of a semicolon.
Other than that, it's looking wonderful!
Thanks guys!! Lolz, I appreciate the comments I'm going to fix that. And Claudia, this story is going to be fantasy, so 'historic accuracy' I suppose wouldn't be a big issue.
ReplyDeleteI really like that you're descriptive...it pulls the reader into the scene. You seem to like run-ons though...a few of your longer sentences could become two. Agree with above puncuation suggestions, but usually internal dialoge is in italics.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
demitrialunetta.blogspot.com
Hi Larissa!
ReplyDeleteI'm your newest follower. Thanks for following me.
I'm an aspiring writer as well, so I'm not confident that I can give proper advice for your excerpts.
But I do think that you should put a description of the book on the top of the page. Whenever I see an interesting book at a bookstore or library, I always open the cover to read the description. It helps me decide if I might like the book or not.
So that's my two cents worth.
Happy writing,
John Smith
P.S. - The Hunger Games movie is coming out? Wow! I haven't even read the book yet. I kind of get turned off my dystopian novels.
http://johnsmithbooks.blogspot.com/
Hey, thanks for the heads-up about the new page. My suggestion(for both pages, actually), aside from what's already been said, is to do double-returns between each paragraph, because tabs don't really work, and it looks much cleaner in an electronic format. I feel like I explained that in a semi-confusing manner, so if what I just said makes no sense, I'm suggesting you format it somewhat how I formatted my excerpt pages on my blog. Just replace each tab with a return. I hope that's a little clearer--I'm recovering from illness, in the midst of brain fog, so I'm not lent to clarity right now. =)
ReplyDeleteThank you everybody for your help! I am new to this and I really appreciate all the comments you guys have given me. I'll try to incorporate as many as I can.
ReplyDelete